[Oops. He stifles himself, then doubles down and raises his head.]
I need to know more than just how to use a sword. If I don't know how to live, then I'll only make more mistakes. You don't have to teach me. Just train with me. I'm sure if you are honest, the results will naturally follow.
I was foolish and thought I could believe in something that was beyond my understanding. Now I know I can only hope to understand it. You asked if I know anyone outside of the sects. The truth is, I once was lost some time ago and lived under the care of another, but I do not understand.
I think the only way to understand is to be shown. Rather than be someone you call honored, I would prefer to be someone you respect.
[ Maybe if he can earn Hua Cheng's respect, he can get a step closer to understanding Jin Guangyao as well. It really is a puzzle of two different worlds. ]
Because... you must understand what it is like to come to this place.
[ It's an explanation that comes carefully as Lan Xichen considers the best way to phrase it. ] You call me cultivator, so you must know that coming here has been unlike anything familiar. It is not home.
You may judge that I have little experience with the world outside of the sects. That is not wrong, but it is not something I wish to be forever. If Hua-gongzi will spare his time, I am willing to learn. It's just if I ask anyone else, I'm afraid that they won't understand.
[ He hasn't given Lan Xichen any reason not to trust him, and Xichen certainly has nothing to hide. A person with any sort of familiarity with cultivation and sect politics is closer to understanding his needs than the others. He approaches the issue with a simple sincerity that he's used to using at home. ]
We may not know each other well, but I believe there is a reason we have met at the very least.
[ That earns some genuine amusement. ] Why indeed.
[ But there's no real reason to argue, other than Hua Cheng's bemusement with the situation. It does him no harm, and even if the cultivator would decide to turn on him, he can hardly be exorcised here. ]
Teacher, I will attend your instruction. Please teach me well.
[ Xichen is just pleased. He can't really keep the relief and excitement out of his voice, although he does try to maintain the cool, passive courtesy he is supposed to use. ]
[ He's pretty enthusiastic, convinced that what he lacks in understanding of a normal life must be the key to resolving his conflicts with Jin Guangyao. They just have different life experiences and expectations. If he learns what that is really like, maybe he'll be a better person. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And what can I help the honored cultivator with?
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I wish to become stronger. I need Hua-gongzi's assistance, if you are willing.
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I'm sure your knowledge is greater than mine. If you were to find my weaknesses, then I will be able to- fight for myself.
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[Oops. He stifles himself, then doubles down and raises his head.]
I need to know more than just how to use a sword. If I don't know how to live, then I'll only make more mistakes. You don't have to teach me. Just train with me. I'm sure if you are honest, the results will naturally follow.
[Is he asking to be beaten up? Maybe.]
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What is it you're actually looking for?
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I was foolish and thought I could believe in something that was beyond my understanding. Now I know I can only hope to understand it. You asked if I know anyone outside of the sects. The truth is, I once was lost some time ago and lived under the care of another, but I do not understand.
I think the only way to understand is to be shown. Rather than be someone you call honored, I would prefer to be someone you respect.
[ Maybe if he can earn Hua Cheng's respect, he can get a step closer to understanding Jin Guangyao as well. It really is a puzzle of two different worlds. ]
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Why me?
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[ It's an explanation that comes carefully as Lan Xichen considers the best way to phrase it. ] You call me cultivator, so you must know that coming here has been unlike anything familiar. It is not home.
You may judge that I have little experience with the world outside of the sects. That is not wrong, but it is not something I wish to be forever. If Hua-gongzi will spare his time, I am willing to learn. It's just if I ask anyone else, I'm afraid that they won't understand.
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Another moment of silence, considering. ]
You trust me, then?
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[ He hasn't given Lan Xichen any reason not to trust him, and Xichen certainly has nothing to hide. A person with any sort of familiarity with cultivation and sect politics is closer to understanding his needs than the others. He approaches the issue with a simple sincerity that he's used to using at home. ]
We may not know each other well, but I believe there is a reason we have met at the very least.
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[ But there's no real reason to argue, other than Hua Cheng's bemusement with the situation. It does him no harm, and even if the cultivator would decide to turn on him, he can hardly be exorcised here. ]
Fine, then.
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[ Xichen is just pleased. He can't really keep the relief and excitement out of his voice, although he does try to maintain the cool, passive courtesy he is supposed to use. ]
I will repay your efforts. I give you my word.
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[ The fact that he's never taught anyone anything might be slightly more of a concern. ]
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[ He's pretty enthusiastic, convinced that what he lacks in understanding of a normal life must be the key to resolving his conflicts with Jin Guangyao. They just have different life experiences and expectations. If he learns what that is really like, maybe he'll be a better person. ]
Your kindness should be returned.
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When?
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Ah... when? [When what? Is he getting a bill? Oh dear.]
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[Yup. He's that enthusiastic. Now that Hua Cheng is agreeable, Lan Xichen is giving him all of the energy of a new, devoted disciple.]
If you need some time, I can wait until you are ready, but I will do as you think best. Perhaps I can visit for lessons?